It’s becoming more and more apparent that I have changed. It’s a change for the better. It’s a start that I’m even able to write this considering two Christmases ago I almost ended it all. For some reason, one simple comment pushed me over the edge. I walked out of the room while my son… Continue reading What is it about December 25th?
The counselling I’ve been having recently, time to think on holiday and impending World Suicide Prevention Day (10 September) have led me to thinking about the times in my past where I’ve contemplated, and prepared for, the worst. For suicide. I can look back with empathy, compassion and understanding. There’s sometimes a bit of pride… Continue reading To my younger self
As I shaved off my beard and mustache for the first time in ages, and looked at myself in the mirror, I was reminded of that scene in Cool Runnings: Yul Brenner: Look in the mirror, and tell me what you see! Junior Bevill: I see Junior. Yul Brenner: You see Junior? Well, let me… Continue reading Cool runnings…
My son’s penultimate words to me this morning were “please come home daddy”. After a pause he then said “while it’s still early enough”. If he’d stopped after the first phrase it would have been entirely appropriate to how I feel today. I just want to run away. Leave everything behind me and fade away.… Continue reading Please come home…
My mind has a habit of overreacting to pretty much everything. Someone commenting on an action I carry out as a parent means that they think I’m a bad parent and incapable of looking after my son. Someone at work commenting about the time taken for a job means that they think I’m incapable and… Continue reading Overreacting
In many of life’s adventures, there are those who’ve experienced it, and those who haven’t. If you’ve never been to space (ok, that’s most of the planet), then how can you empathise with the emotions and experience of those who have? Depression is a bit like that – if you’ve never had to fight that… Continue reading The select few
I have to rant here because I’ve nobody else to rant to – everyone who I speak to on a regular basis is too emotionally/personally involved. I figure ranting might help me get it off my chest and stop me falling back into the black hole. We’ve moved house. Correction – we’re moving house. We’ve… Continue reading Bad move?